I find myself very restless and worrisome tonight. I think a lot of all the things going on in our world and wonder how it will affect me? Our dominant country in all of it's might is not so mighty after all. Emotions rule decisions through many heated topics, and disease and crime which was supposed to be declining seems to be occurring more than the stats would have us believe. I guess I should stop right there and replace the word "wonder" with the word, "worry". I worry about my fate, minor issues at my job, my family, and the plethora of other things going on in my life. Tonight I especially find those things hard to fathom and allow my mind to rest; of course it could also have something to do with the nap I enjoyed in the recliner earlier tonight.
I think the subject
I worry about the most is my health. It sounds very self centered and self serving, and you wouldn't find me arguing against anyone on those points. Are our lives really ever ours to begin with? I am a Christian and I have given my life to God, and I find many people throughout the course of my day who have given theirs over to other "things" and/or devices. I do believe the human body and mind are incredible creations from which each of us derives our ability to live and feel. Yet the same complex and intricate creation we value so much is the very thing which wastes away each and every day. Prone to fail at one time or another, and yet we fight so valiantly to sustain life everyday.
The next part of all of this is, God. Maybe some people are shutting down right now reading these words just over the mere mention of religion. I know God has brought me through situations and moments in my life which I can never explain. The pieces and plans which would have had to fall into place and synchronize at the perfect time is much more than mere coincidence. Trust should therefore be a thing of ease between myself and God, however, I allow issues such as my health to run through like a thief and take the grace and tranquility which God freely gives me everyday.
So what then will it take to leave the worry behind? What will it take to end the battles where I fall short, such as judging others, speaking out of ignorance or spite, and the list goes on. I know that being a good person isn't good enough in this life, and nothing is ever a guarantee! I sit here tonight with thankfulness for the challenges He has brought me through. Thankful for the people He has placed in my life, the good and the bad. I am especially thankful for this imperfect body, and the personal strides I will take knowing that life is only so long. I will go to sleep asking myself, "Did I do all I possibly could today?", and wake up every morning with the thought, "If today is my last, I know where I am going." My thankfulness might be different from others, but regardless of the form, it all comes from the same place whether we can see it or not.
Luke 15:11-32
The Prodigal Son
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
